Dear Lover: Be Your Own Valentine this Season.

Friends, let the title of my article not shock you. I know for a fact you might be wondering, “Heck, what’s all this be your own Valentine about?!” Dear lover, before you quickly look for me and catechize my innocent art, please listen. Let’s take a step at a time till we reach that holy grail!

Conversation surrounding me this week is about Valentine’s Day. For everyone’s sake, it is a cool convo. However, I think there has been too much accentuation with minimal understanding of the big day.

Please, dear lover, do not get me wrong. In addition, do not confuse me for a bitter writer. One who knows absolutely nothing about love, red roses and the cosy romantic background music .

Dear lover, maybe you opine that am a benighted young writer. One who probably has not healed from a severe heart break. Who got dumped the other day and is now pouring all the wrath in writing. Perhaps, you have already created a facade of a staunch sicko, hater of lovers. Maybe, to add, a formidable believer of ‘am dying single’ lass. In the contrary, I am not all that.

I am a dear lover too,

All said and done, I am a dear lover too. In fact , I am not untaught nor unlettered of how significant Valentine’s Day is. Especially for the ever hands holding Romeo and Juliet.

I hope you are ready for this; Do not be surprised to see me on that candlelit Valentine’s dinner chill out, with a handsome gorgeous man beside me . This time round, not with a Bible, note book or a pen but with red roses (I won’t mind a vase). Importantly, typical chocolates, cool music and beautiful cards on the couple coffee table next to you.

Presumably, looking all glamorous in my well dressed for the occasion look. For better part of it, being a dear lover, I anticipate to be all pulchritudinous for him that night.

Clearly, I cannot say enough. I guess by now you have cleared your wild dogma and opinions of me.

Who will be my Valentine?

We all know there is pressure all over.

Pressure of, “Who will be my Valentine?” Haha, this reminds me of the hilarious Valentines song which has taken our whatsapp statuses by storm. They sing, Valentines is coming, Valentines is coming, where’s your boyfriend, you sitting home alone, lonely..…..Of course, funny that song may seem, trust me there is a lady or man somewhere going through its reality.

Our meme gurus are not making it any easier for us, the uproarious humour of being single at this time of love is intense. Reminders after reminders of how single and lonely you are.

Three quarters of the social media posts are on Valentines and Men’s Conference. Lawd Awmighty, happy are those who will attend the conference knowing well Valentine’s Day is not their day. What about those who are not attending the conference nor doing Valentines because they are “alone” and not men, or are men but do not have the ‘tickets’ to attend the conference?

Dear lovers, truth be told, we have been a bit scurrilous as far as those in singlehood are concerned. I too, am guilty of this.

In the midst of jokes and oddity at worst, there is someone hurting. Maybe because they ended their relationship in a mess just the other day. Moreover, not surprising, some find Valentine’s Day not just for them, others may be trusting God for a partner – earnestly trusting. You will never know their story.


More light, I am talking to you who feel overwhelmed by your current relationship status-singlehood. There’s no pressure trust me. Take your time. Valentine’s Day will come and go, dear lover.

Pause, do not ask the ‘Who will be my Valentine’ question anymore.

Be your own Valentine

Far be it, the surmise that the day is only for love birds. Those whose stories match the diegesis of Alejandro and Maria Cruz. The stars of the illustrious soap operas of the time.

I am a talisman of the belief that everyone can celebrate love. If everyone can celebrate love, then everyone can celebrate Valentine’s Day!

I stand to be corrected, whether dating or single, 14th February is a day you can show love to self or others. Valentine’s Day is for everyone. Be your own Valentine, dear lover.

There are a thousand and many more ways to make this Valentine’s Day remarkable as a single person or dating.

Dear lover, this is how….

Specifically if you are not dating, here are ways you can be your own Valentine this Friday.

  • Attend a church service. Most churches I bet will be having a love chat /sermon/program for all their members – dating and singles. Do not miss.
  • Go for a photoshoot(s) . Dress to kill. Put on that great look and go for photoshoots with your girls, boys or alone. Create memories.
  • Read a love story. Get a novel, journal or magazines and read about love. It’s refreshing, I tell you.
  • Dress well. Dress well for yourself. Put on the red theme!
  • Have an indoor picnic alone or with your friends or family. You can get boxes of pizza, drinks, indoor games and movie night at home.
  • Buy yourself, friends and family gifts. You can get chocolates and flowers, cards and other gifts of your choice to pamper the Valentines mood.
  • Have a candlelit dinner with friends, family or alone with your teddy bears (Pardon my manners:-))
  • Buy tickets and go watch a movie. Don’t forget to get yourself some popcorns and face tissues (incase you get a bit emotional) .
  • If you are a lover of pastry like me, you can have a Valentines-baking Day. Bake something with a taste of red velvet and love heart shape.
  • Attend a fun show like Churchill show for those who will be in Kenya that day. Laugh yourself out then go sleep afterwards, thank me later.

The list is endless, I hope you find this useful. I hope you will know how precious you are and appreciate this period of singlehood.

Dear lover, I pray that you will find love in loving yourself this love season.

Happy Valentines!

Mariam Mbodze

A lassie in the modern world, yet I got a missive from the ages... Silent thoughts make me yonder. Hey... Black girl talks, Mariam talks!

110 comments on “Dear Lover: Be Your Own Valentine this Season.

  • Maureen Mutuku

    If everyone can celebrate love, then everyone can celebrate Valentine’s.:-*👌👌
    I love it.! 💚

  • Frank😎

    Great article as always😊😊Valentines is a celebration of love and unfortunately the society has turned it into a ‘pressure fest’.Love is a beautiful thing at its time.This goes out to everyone feeling there aint a reason to celebrate.
    Look up child!!
    Love is a gift bestowed freely, willingly and without expectation .Do it your way.

  • Barny

    Wow!This is so good!
    We cannot love others if we don’t love ourselves!

    • Mariam Mbodze Author

      Thank you Barney, very true. God is love. Love ought to be our core of language. It begins from a point of loving self. Thank you once again!

  • Mark Kiome

    Impressive! Great advice. Great Read. Very honest and practical. Keep the fire burning Mbodze and thank you for the detailed post.

  • Bonny

    Wow, great article Mamuu. Now I’ll get to celebrate Valentine’s after all for the love of oneself. Kudos✓.

    • Mariam Mbodze Author

      Very much welcome, thank you too Bonny, of course go ahead and celebrate, happy Valentines. Thank you for finding this article useful.

  • Sam Wanyua

    I love this 😊
    Everyone can celebrate love

  • Gwada Cornel

    Everyone can celebrate love, then everyone can celebrate Valentine superb.


  • Annbel Mwangi

    Mammu, thank you, This Valentine season couldn’t get any better 🙂

  • kellechi Ihheannecho

    greatest of all valentine’s messages karavic. keep the spirit

  • Erick

    I’m left gobsmacked…great article in deed.

  • Bronwyn Ronoh

    Love truly starts with yourself and there after flows to others, God himself knew this and said love your neighbour as yourself. Great article! This thé POV that many people need💯

  • Mutanu

    This is a great article in all aspects 🙌
    I’ve enjoyed reading through.
    Keep your light shining Mamuu💕

  • Ken njoroge

    This is really great… Very informative

  • Arito Geofrey

    My singlehood is not a problem to me anymore. I can be my own valentine.

  • Mohammed Barrack

    Good article, this is awesome. I like it, Happy Valentine’s Day to all who will celebrate it.

  • Brian Shisia

    Young lady you can write.👏

  • Geoffrey

    This is an amazing piece full of truth and reality, continue with the same spirit…. It’s lit💥💥

  • Josephine Kadzo

    This is amazing Mariam… Let’s celebrate love in a great style.

  • Kendele Jemosop

    Woooow, hiyo English jooh😁,
    Thanks dear, that was insightful 🙌

  • Enock

    Love is a beautiful thing,we must celebrate it regardless of our statuses. God is love. It’s a good piece.

    Happy Valentine’s

  • KiM

    Insightful. Meditative
    Worth a read.

  • Danford

    Greatly impressed by this article… Great work 😊

  • Afandi

    Wow! Mamuu you’re a great writer!
    I’ve loved every bit of it. How you capture everything is incredibly beautiful. There’s something for everyone. It’s simple and very practical💖💖

  • Njeri Ochieng

    Just one word, splendid! Truthful too. Anyone can celebrate love😍

    No sad stories of Valentine and being alone, do something!

    Beautiful art! The English is also on Shakespeare’s level😋

  • Michael Katana

    Great piece 💯

  • Sylvia Nduta

    ooooh my !!!
    Am left speechless
    This is a incredible piece there dear
    Wow great job 💪
    A gift for Valentines 🎁

  • Kabiru Karanja

    Love is all around us. Family, friends, the needy, classmates and the “mbogi” . Let’s spread the love. Great article .

  • Ndinda

    Wow this is great!Super Amazing Go girl!Shine your way

  • James

    Carefully pieced,the way a tailor joins a piece of cloth to the other to make a dress.words deliberately chosen..Nice piece.

  • Peter Manyang Bichok

    All years, Valentine has come and go but this year 2020, I have someone I am happy to have someone to call dear lover. You are the fortress that surrounds my heart. You’re my friend, my lover, and to me, a man among men set apart.

  • Maureen

    Can’t get enough of this!!!
    Just on point,,,keep up gal

  • Steve-o

    This is has been an awesome read….I love your style…catchy 👏👏👏

  • Nancy Davis

    And there she goes again😍

    Love flows from within. I choose to let God take His place in my heart coz he is Love. Then I’ll let it flow all the way this Valentines.
    Thanks mummy for that
    I love your grammar👌❤

  • Opondo

    An excellent article Mamuu!! This is so encouraging. Good job.

  • Agolla

    Great piece dear….

  • Chege

    Reading this article at this timely moment just makes me appreciate many things. The writer,the article and all the comments are just so on point. Keep doing this great work Mariam

  • Ms. Muthee

    Enjoyed reading through each line.
    Thanks for the prayer,”Find love in loving yourself this love season.”

  • Susan

    Wow! This is so profound.Thanks for the reminder that we ought to love and appreciate ourselves before we go out to love others.
    Keep it up girl

  • Douglas kavai

    This is enlightening.
    I definitely love it!

  • Omwangu

    Awesome awesome piece 👌
    Happy Valentine’s to you too

  • Irene Waigumo

    Wow such a wonderful and lovely piece…keep up mummy

  • Raph

    Great piece.. its awesome 🔥🔥

  • Levi

    Perfect work Mamuu

  • Patricia Wanza

    Oh wow, how incredibly you capture each and every side of the aspect “if I may call it” is just remarkable. Nice piece.
    Happy Valentine’s. 💞

  • Winnie opondo

    Such a beautiful timely piece!
    Valentines is certainty for everyone single or not….celebrate you celebrate someone!

  • Jackline Carol

    Wow, “you are sitting home alone, lonely” 😊This is a really wise article Mariam

  • Noel Godfrey

    A piece of an impeccable writing that relights the dead awareness of oneself in the world full of love & hatred…

  • Sharon Soi

    Me hadi nmerudi tena after Valentines to read it once more,it worked😂😂😍😍😍😍

  • AffiliateLabz

    Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up! 🙂

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