When all this is over: Covid-19 musings.

When all this is over, we will write stories with movement.Stories that for the life of us, we would have never written with pens. That’s what freedom does.

Noel Cynthia.

This is where we’re at.

I can’t wait for when all this is over! This month was supposed to be fun but we are not posting anything hilarious. There’s nothing funny about this situation. Corona has finally stopped reggae. Online writing is the new cartel business. All we can do is wait it out and pray things get better, fast!Now while we wait, let me give you a quick prognosis of situations on the ground. As told by a majority of the populace.

First off, working from home is a scam.A fairytale. For those who were doing it before, congratulations.You’re better than most. Straighten that imaginary crown because it ain’t easy out here. 30 minutes in and Netflix,Showmax,Hulu and all their siblings,including Selina (that show where a man drowns in a baby pool) starts seducing you with a pop up of the top 10. Like the gentlewoman that you are, you say all work and no play makes Noel a bad girl. You decide to have a ten minute break. You blink twice and it’s 4:00p.m.Nothing done.

Zoom and quick calls…

Then follows the conference calls.Ladies haven’t told you how it hurts to dress up and apply make up for a mere video call. It hurts because your boss has never seen you without it and you know that when he does, he may call the IT guy thinking that someone has tampered with the systems, stolen your identity, laptop or both.You can’t risk it.The big brothers and sisters aren’t having it any easier either. First week was fun. Being the smartest in the room, telling lastborns what to do. Catching random chicken on whatsapp. Three weeks in and you’ve mastered all the 15 tunes on looloo kids, the toddler channel on YouTube that has 24 million followers(still shocking).

Then we have this lot who were few months in. Forget whiskey. Now, relationships are the only thing on the rocks. Ladies and gentlemen have to “buda boss” their way out of the sitting room because mum and dad are around.This is Africa, forget the movies. You can’t call someone’s child sijui bae, bear,love before your dad,unless they’re known and accepted. Try it and you’ll sleep on the roof. So if you’re served with broski, or budaboss, don’t take it personal.Things have changed,maybe even for the better. So adjust accordingly.

This year started fine,we started fine. Now we just watch movies, eat all the time and pray this virus will be teleported to the outside world; anywhere but here.However,in the midst of all this chaos, we can at least make lemonade out of Covid lemons. I don’t know about you but I’m making a clear bucket list of what I’ll do when all this is over.

ALSO READ: Sins at sunset: You Won’t believe what happens!

When all this is over…

First, I’ll pass by Sarova Stanley. Why? because I crave appropriate human contact and the doorman at Sarova is the coolest in town.He’s always wearing a smile and a big personality: waving, nodding and shaking hands as he works his shtick. He also calls me lady, not madam. Plus, he’s Congolese, so we will have small talk in French.

Then,I’ll go to the dapper brother’s cloth store at Sarit to get a pair of happy socks for a cousin of mine. I saw the man without socks in the house once and it was downright depressing. I told him to get pedicure but he won’t have it. You know there are straight men out here, then there are very straight men.He is a very straight man.We’ll go for happy socks.

At noon, I’ll go join an amazing karaoke street artist who plays behind Naivas, with a rendition of “I feel good” by Pharell.I’ll record it then post it and tag him on Instagram . For lunch, I’ll go to a new fish joint.Though I’m not one to take a picture of food with my phone,I’ll take this one and share it. I know it will be so good that I’ll ask to meet the chef. Then I’ll look at her gifted hands and say…

you see these hands,these hands are meant to fry fish.”

Then I’ll tip her.

Will it really be over?

Later in the afternoon, I’ll go shift my hair to dreads and dye it maroon,then send a picture to my mum, who will videocall me, hand on chin,staring like someone died. She will look at me with lone eyes and wonder whether I’m carrying a mop on my head or it’s the high dosage of antibiotics she’s taking playing with her head.That’s if she doesn’t faint first. She won’t say anything at first, at least not with her mouth,mostly with her eyes.

But when I get home, I’ll find men and women flocked in the house, annointing oil on hands, humming to old hymns. She will ask me to stand in the middle of the already formed circle and one of them will read from the book of Proverbs,while avoiding my eyes.Then they will in turn start praying for me as though they are casting out demons. For hours. In between, I’ll ask to go to the washroom but mama Monika,the one with the white headscarf, will chime in claiming that those are demons trying to escape. If asked to explain,I’ll try saying that it’s my form of free spirit expression.Owino,the male intercessor will gasp.

It will all be over… for me.


After dusk they will finally break into singing. And then mother will finish the session with another prayer condeming the demons to leave my hair and my heart. At this point, I will be sobbing while chopping off my dreads with scissors.Later in the night,alone and laying in bed, guilt eating at my heart, mum will walk in saying,

“You’ll stay here for a week,you need to get yourself together.”

That,my friends, is how I’ll find myself in forced self isolation on my first day of freedom.

***

What are you looking forward to when all this ends? Let me know in the comments section.While at it, stay safe.

Cheers!


Noel Cynthia

I believe in living a poetic life, an art full life. Everything we do from the way we talk,read,write,to the way we welcome our friends is part of a large canvas we are creating.

29 comments on “When all this is over: Covid-19 musings.

  • Saitoti

    Maroon dreads? C’mon😂😂😂.

    Reply
  • Saitoti

    Beautiful piece altogether, hopefully it’s over soon,lady😄

    Reply
  • Helen Mutei

    Yeeeysh

    Reply
  • Njeri Ochieng

    Am looking forward to walking around town at 8 pm with no police chasing me and I think this time I’ll go to the One-Man guitar guy that sings in town too😂. This is beautiful and Hilarious 😂

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Njeri,
      Thanks for reading!Gkad it made for a good laugh!How about a trio maybe?Lwala and I are game. The city will know our names.I’m rooting for the lone night walks. We can also add night live concerts on the list,right?
      While we wait,stay safe. Avoid Corona.
      Hope to see you soon. Cheers!

      Reply
  • Lwala

    😂😂😂😂😂😂I thought I’m the only one who will take that singing with the man on the street seriously…..
    I will definitely hang out with my friends more especially my quarantination who have been so far yet so near….. I will also live life not recklessly but also not too carefully

    This is a good read

    Reply
    • Favor

      When this is all over *soon*…….😌
      I’ll have this long night walks
      I’ll take the bus full part of life seriously….
      I’ll never miss classes😂
      I’ll maybe take a look at the vendors taping my hand and not frown at them even when not purchasing “madam hii ni size yako”
      I damn miss human contact, the buzle of life, busy streets, deafening hooting in town……

      If at all its ever ending soon😒

      Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Lwala,
      Thanks for reading. That Karaoke guy must know our names😂😂😂.Quarantination is very important.And yeah,here’s to living like today is our last and tomorrow isn’t promised. Meanwhile,avoid the RONA, so that I get to see you again.
      Cheers☺

      Reply
  • Annet Kithaka

    This one made me laugh😅😅. I am thinking of a wonderful photoshoot at night and a good nature walk to unwind.
    This is awesome!

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Annet
      Thanks for reading!I’m with you on the lone night walks. Right now the curfew doesn’t allow.Kwanza the way they are therapeutic.Well, on the photoshoot,awesome!I’ll copy that. Stay safe.Avoid the Rona.While we wait, I hope we cling on to the little things that make us happy.
      Cheers!

      Reply
  • odongo

    You’ve got excellent English! And Owino was mentioned 😂😂.
    Good job.

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Odongo,
      Thanks for reading.Owino’s are important😂.
      Stay safe, avoid Rona. See you on the other side.
      Cheers!

      Reply
  • Yvonne Kibe

    Seriously guys how can you guys write this well and still manage to make your piece humorous. 💁😂Taaaaalent 💯Nice work.

    Reply
  • Kagure

    1. Ice cream at SNO cream
    2. I will hug everyone tightly and passionately and tell them how I really missed them. *Sons
    😂

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Anto,
      Thanks for reading.Ice cream and free hugs, yes yes.This time tutapeana😂.Can I also suggest you adding Kuckito on your bucketlist?They have amazing chicken.
      Till then,stay safe and avoid Rona.
      Cheers!

      Reply
      • Kagure

        The decor and design at Kukito is mind blowing though walinicheza Avocado so not my fav place any more😂.

  • Ann

    This is so wonderfully written Noel. I cannot wait to get back to school and give everyone I meet a hug or a handshake… I hope shaking hands or hugging will not be forgotten. Good cheers!

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Ann,
      Thanks for reading.I relate.Handshakes and free hugs.While we wait, please stay safe and I hope you keep finding the calm in these chaotic times.
      Thanks and cheers!

      Reply
  • Lawrence

    I’ll appreciate the lives of people more than I have been doing even to the smallest things like nice hair, or nice dress or nice suit.

    Reply
    • Noel Cynthia Author

      Hey@Lawrence,
      Thanks for reading.I concur,the little things do count.I’ll be waiting on those complements hehe…
      Thanks for reading.Cheers!

      Reply
    • Andole Masheti

      Now I understand where the “budaboss” or “broski” will be coming from…thanks Noel.

      Reply
  • Ongaya Caesarine Mulobi

    A good piece as always.
    I’ve laughed so had but why y’all lying you’ll put dreads then dye maroon 🤣.
    On the real though, I’m not looking forward to all that, Really living in the moment and I’m loving the intentional growth in all aspects of my life. Savouring the moment. A day at a time with a grateful heart.

    Love and light ❤️😘😘

    But I must say the sanguine in me is suffering, no wonder I came to the village. Here I can take a stroll to the river, go to the shamba,eat all the maperas, eat sugarcane, at times like today take a morning run to the Misango hills and come back crying coz muscle cramps ain’t no joke…🤣. But a girl is grateful. Learning new skills, like driving, imagine this is when I’m learning,😅, like weeding etc.

    So just you know what I look forward to when all this comes to an end is you atoning for your sins coz sis I miss us😅😆😍

    Love and light ❤️

    Reply
  • Ndinda

    Nice read Noel. Keep soaring Mummy! I have learnt not to take things that seem small for granted…hugs and handshakes.

    Reply
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